There was a time when being under the influence meant you needed two friends: one to hold your shoulder, and one to explain to your parents why you smelled like a failed chemistry experiment.
Today? You’re under the influence if you saw one Reel on gut health and now refuse to eat anything that isn’t the colour of disappointment. Somewhere between those two eras, humanity evolved into a new species: “The Influencer”.
Not Homo sapiens. Homo content-creating-until-the-soul-leaves-the-body. These days, if you open your phone just to relax, your feed gently reminds you that:
Your knee mobility is declining,
Your gut microbiome is plotting against you,
Your life lacks discipline,
And your happiness is 73% lower than people who wake up at 4:17 AM to drink water infused with their own tears.
Honestly, I sometimes fall asleep watching a video. The algorithm thinks I’ve entered a deep emotional connection with that creator. In my dreams it shows me 25 more exactly like it. I wake up confused, enlightened and mildly ashamed.
Growing up, “interruptions” were ads on Doordarshan. Now interruptions are ads, influencers, unskippable promos, and that one guy shouting “BRO YOU NEED TO INVEST IN YOURSELF.”
Nostalgia used to smell like Maggi. Now it smells like retargeting cookies.
But the more things change, the more they remain the same. Earlier we were under the influence of bhai-log at weddings. Now it’s bhai-log on Instagram teaching us “5 signs you’re toxic.”
Maybe that’s evolution. Or maybe it’s just programmatic advertising with better lighting.
Either way - cheers to the journey from being influenced by the 8 pm bar to being influenced by the 8 sec Reel.
The Unexpected Rebranding of Human Beings
There was a glorious time in India when the phrase “under the influence” had a very simple meaning: you had either attended a cousin’s shaadi, a colleague’s farewell or accidently mixed two liquids your stomach never wanted to meet.
Being under the influence meant you needed three things - a friend to hold your shoulder, a friend to stop you from confessing things to your ex and a third friend to explain to the police why you were singing Altaf Raja at 1:30 AM.
It was uncomplicated.
Pure.
Honest.
A simpler world.
Fast-forward to 2025, and the phrase has gone through the kind of transformation even Mahindra XUV ads would call “too much drama.”
Today, you’re under the influence if:
You watched one reel of a guy making avocado toast and now your feed thinks you’re a California resident with an oat-milk subscription
You liked one post about “self-care,” and the algorithm now believes you need therapy, journaling, and three scented candles
You paused on a video for 0.7 seconds and now Instagram assumes you want to transform your life, your habits, your skin, your hair, your diet, your algorithms, and maybe even your friends
You clicked on one fitness reel accidentally, and now 14 different men are yelling at you to do squats while 6 women are offering 5-minute morning routines that require 48-minute discipline
We didn’t upgrade. We were upgraded.
Somewhere between “growing up” and “growing followers,” the entire human race did a quiet rebranding. Overnight, Homo sapiens became Homo contentium.
A species whose natural habitat is ring lights and whose mating calls are “Smash that like button!” Earlier, influence was a side-effect of bad decisions. Now influence is a career option with a rate card, a media kit, and a discount code.
The Algorithmic Nagging We Never Asked For
Every time I try to relax and mindlessly scroll, the feed behaves like a judgemental gym trainer:
“Do your stretches if you want knee mobility after 40.” My brother, I just came here to vibe on some Punjabi music - Ek Punjaban, Kudi Punjaban. Please relax.
It happens. Humans do that.
From Mahabharat Sundays to ‘Skip Ad’ Reflexes
When we were kids, the biggest interruption in our entertainment diet was: “Mummy, bhook lagii hiiiii!” It wasn’t an ad. It was a cultural moment. Today, interruptions are influencer collabs, pre-roll ads, mid-roll ads and that one guy shouting:
“BRO, LISTEN TO ME. THIS IS THE BEST PRODUCTIVITY HACK OF 2025.”
Earlier, Family Man breaks reminded us of childhood nostalgia. Now they remind us how deeply AI has infiltrated our weekends. The ads of the ’90s were memorable. Today, ads follow you everywhere with the clinginess of a toxic situationship.
Nostalgia Is Programmatic Now
The old world was analogue.
Organic.
Human.
Now, nostalgia itself has cookies. Not the edible ones - the stalker ones.
The more things change, the more they remain the same… Except now, even the sameness is optimised for “audience engagement.” As Manoj Bajpayee saves the nation in The Family Man, your phone saves your “last viewed influencer reel” for “better recommendations.”
Both are patriotic in their own ways.
So What Happened to Us?
We’ve gone from: Under the influence → of liquids to Under the influence → of algorithms to Being the influencer → for strangers
Earlier, influence was a mistake. Today, influence is a metric. Earlier, someone said, “Yaar tu do peg leke alag hi influence me hai.” Today they say, “Bro, your niche is not defined and your content is not relatable.”
Progress?
Regression?
Evolution?
Hard to say.
But one thing is clear: In the old world, we were influenced for one night. In today’s world, we are influenced 24x7 -and somehow we’re calling it a hobby.
The Final Irony
In the end, both eras had one thing in common: We were always under some influence. Just the source changed.
From Old Monk to new algorithms.
From DJ nights to ring lights.
From “bhool jaa yaar” to “link in bio.”
Maybe that’s life, same universe, different notifications.
Reader response
Email me this essay as a PDF
Receive a clean branded copy for later reading or team discussion.